For a scant few seconds, I was a US Weekly Editor

aaaaaand go:

A newly engaged Snooki opens up about her panic after drinking in the first month, how she nearly ruined Jionni’s sweet proposal and her doubtful future on the Shore

I just wanted to see how it felt to pen that sentence, to feel the keys clatter below my fingers, producing words and ideas so nuanced, so delicate. In a word: transformative.