I Love the Smell of Facepalm in the Morning

It has come to my attention that Yankees cologne exists as a product for legitimate sale. Rather than conjure up a stream of quips to compliment this development, I’ll let the creator’s recent words in the NYT speak for themselves:

Cloudbreak’s chief executive, Tom Butkiewicz, who came up with the idea for the fragrances, said of the Yankees: “They’re a prestige brand. They’re a brand that exudes class.” Another Cloudbreak official, Duncan Bird, the creative director, said the fragrances aimed to bottle “the unique sense of swagger that the Yankees have.

So, there you have it, Yankees fans. Finally a fragrance worthy of your fandom. While we wait for the inevitable SNL commercial, here’s the initial satirical salvo:

Bite the Pillow: Sandler’s Back

Let’s start the morning with a little expectation-setting. Adam Sandler’s new movie That’s My Boy is descending fast upon us, opening June 15. It’s been described as  “classic Sandler”, and “a far cry from Jack and Jill” (“far” in which direction remains to be seen). Watch the trailer and judge for yourself, but we have high hopes…high hopes that that a new Sandler film will claim the mantle as the worst movie ever. Rest assured that in a few weeks, we’ll do what no human should do: go to the theater, watch this piece of crap, and present an exculsive review right here on Wheeeeeeee! It is our cross to bear.

Now excuse me while I go exercise my retching muscles.