Settle down, John Kasich Super PAC. The Onion’s take on Ted Cruz was commentary, not an instruction manual.
You talking to me about safety? That train has left the station, amigo.
Moments later, emboldened by his balancing and spatial mastery, Putin stabbed his fellow statesman with the very same pen. ‘Cuz he’s an asshole like that.
OK, stupid headline. But good ad. Honest.
Meanwhile, in the House of Representatives…
A very special midnight Fuck You to the Tea Party.
Forget the Treyvon case, the austerity-stunted global economic recovery, and the name of Kate’s baby. It’s here, within the faux-wood paneled walls of the Canadian city council, that humanity’s course will be set.
Miller to miss Game 7…he’ll be in Guantanamo.