Vocabulary Builder: Amen Break

Today I watched something that mentioned the “Amen Break”, which I had never heard of. Let’s give the music nerds a moment to scoff and snerk…
Anyway, the video above does an effective (and exhaustive) job of exposing the influence that the Amen Break has in popular music. Extracted from a B-side drum solo that was recorded by Soul Funk band The Winstons in 1969, the Amen Break has been aped by everyone from hip-hoppers to agency hacks. It’s instantly recognizable yet continually adjusted…kind of like Doritos (RIP Mr. West)

Vocabulary Builder: Coning

This is touching and inspirational story, if you’ll allow me to relay it.

Apparently, there’s an incredibly lame, digital-age, über-contrived prank called “coning” (AKA “the new planking“), in which the joke involves someone grabbing an ice cream cone from someone by the ice cream end, as opposed to gabbing it by the cone itself. Hilarious, right? Utter fucking comedic geniuses, kids these days. Anywho, as this video proves, you never know when or where you’ll come across a hero. I’m running to buy a Big Mac right goddamn now to recognize and celebrate the resounding victory of “McDonald’s Manager” over “Dumb Perky Blonde and Her Douchebag Cohort.”

via Gawker

Vocabulary Builder: Earthquake

Used to be that “earthquake” referred to a series of vibrations induced in the earth’s crust.
Now that an EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!™ has hit the eastern seaboard, we’ve seen it means something different entirely: an opportunity for the nation to realize their most sarcastic ambitions and generally act idiotically.

Like so:

….and so:

…aaaaaaaand (blech) so:

We’re in the golden age, America!

Vocabulary Builder: VocaPeople

Oh boy, where to start. How do you define a bunch of dumpy people, dressed up in what I imagine G.I. Joe’s Storm Shadow might wear to one of Puffy’s fancy all-white outfit parties. Add to that the fact that they also happen to sing a cappella and you’re on to something very disturbing. That’s not quite accurate, they don’t simply sing a cappella, they methodically dismantle any affection you might have for any song imaginable. I guess if I were pressed I would say it’s like hearing your mom sing a new-ish song playing on the radio that you kind of liked during a long car trip. It just ruins everything. Throw in their nightmare inducing appearance and you’ve got yourself a VocaPeep mister.

Vocabulary Builder: Horsebic

Today’s word comes to us from Finland and refers to a new aerobic sensation that is making tons of hay (at least we hope it is) throughout the country. It basically involves a bunch of trotting around like a horse and incorporates elements of show jumping, because nothing burns calories like jumping around like the overfed nag that you are. If you thought it stops at aping the motions of horses well you’re just plain wrong, what’s with you? Participants (we don’t know the terminology for a practitioner of Horsebic, Horsebician?) also may try their hand at being the rider of an invisible horse and even tossing a plush horse toy back and forth while doing sit-ups (called Donkey Pumps).

via Robert Popper

Vocabulary Builder: MLIH

A friend of mine forwarded me the site MyLifeIsHo, which his 12-year-old nephew reports is all the rage among tweens. It’s a lot like Fuck My Life, but even faker and much more Pedo Bear-y. Seriously, should we just blow up the internet on behalf of our youth?

FunFact™: Cousin Vicky from National Lampoon’s “Vacation” (pictured above) is
30 Rock’s
own Jane Krakowski.

PS: Hyperlink!

Vocabulary Builder: “Planking”

Every once in a while a rather obscure Australian trend (see rain sticks) becomes thrust into our collective consciousness and we here at Wheeeeeeee feel compelled to give you the straight dope before “the media” has a chance to distort and mischaracterize it (see Rain Stick The Musical: Rain Stick Nights.).

Wikipedia defines Planking as the action of lying face down with arms to the sides of the body, in unusual public spaces and photographing it. Um. ok. So there you have it. Seems pretty harmless (see also, lame), but yesterday a senseless tragedy raised planking’s profile irrevocably. Planking has claimed it’s first life and plankers everywhere called for calm and urged people to become informed before rushing to any judgements. We are only too happy to lend a hand. We want plankers everywhere to know that we stand with them, backs stiff, hands at our sides and balanced on a drive thru menu.